I Am Not Stealing This - Thursday 3/29/2007

I am just borrowing it.

It's the little container the milk for my oatmeal comes in at Bob's. For reasons I can't divulge due to national security issues, I need to know if it actually holds 2 ounces.

I know that I am only borrowing it. I will take it back.

But.

I go through an elaborate series of moves to get it into my purse, because just the thought of being caught stealing something makes me sweat. So I move it behind my tea pot, then bring up my wallet, and pick up the container in the same hand and--checking to make sure that neither the Three Musketeers nor a server are looking--sweep it into my purse.

Satisfied that I have been successful in my little ruse, I turn to get out of the booth and find the fellow sitting in the booth across the aisle and behind me smiling.

"Good morning," I say.

"Morning," he says, nodding.

I'd forgotten all about him. Random people just sometimes come into my restaurant and sit anywhere they want, willy-nilly.

Snoopy buggers.